


How to Fall In Love and other 'Epic' Texting Follies

by will byers (chromosynthesia)



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memes, Multi, Students, Texting, Wrong Number AU, dont quote me on that, eddie is done with everyone, idk what else to tag, idk yet, possible stan/bill, reddie is endgame, stan and richie are best buds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-11 01:51:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13514271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chromosynthesia/pseuds/will%20byers
Summary: 5:47 A.M.207-XXX-XXXX (~trashmouth1019):ST what the hell207-XXX-XXXX (~trashmouth1019):dude I have to give it to ya207-XXX-XXXX (~trashmouth1019):I love ya and Delorah, but this is unacceptable207-XXX-XXXX (~trashmouth1019):she squashed all the pansies ST. ALL THE PANSIES-Edward 'Eddie' Kaspbrak was hoping to have a normal day. A normal, calm, day. But instead he gets a text from a random number, and everything goes down from there. He just wants to focus on his studies. Can this poor guy get a bloody break?





	1. Who the fuck is trashmouth1019?

**Author's Note:**

> I made some edits to it so it reads a little easier, and thought that I should reference the memes/vines/etc. that I used bc some of them people might not get idk;;  
> -I can show you the world (it's obvious)  
> -[it's more likely than you think](https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=it%27s+more+likely+than+you+think&rlz=1C1CHWA_enGB605GB605&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwirn_fZ6v3YAhVoB8AKHYsSAesQ_AUICigB&biw=1366&bih=638)  
> -if aught but death part thee and me - can't find it anymore  
> -[you were my cinnamon apple](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REpt_KV__qs)  
> -[marry me rebecca](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFWb7DG7zTc)

When Eddie Kaspbrak woke up at seven fifteen, to his phone’s alarm blaring, the first thing he noticed was a text. In fact, not one, but _five_ texts from an unknown number, including an attachment.

_5:47 A.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** ST what the hell

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **dude I have to give it to ya

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):**    
I love ya and Delorah, but this is unacceptable

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **[image download pending]

Eddie frowned, clicking the download button and hoping to dear God that it was not something horrific. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when the image loaded, showing a photo of someone’s grubby hand and a cat lying on top of a bunch of pansies. He turned his attention to the last message.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** she squashed all the pansies ST. ALL THE PANSIES

Eddie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Who was this person and why had they decided to message him at – he glanced at the timestamp – 5:47 in the morning?

Throwing his hands up in the air, he sat up and typed out a message.

_7:17 A.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          **Who is this?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          **I think you may have the wrong number. This sin’t ST and most certainly is not Delorah.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ***isn’t

After a moment or two, Eddie reconsidered and sent a final text.

_7:18 A.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          **Also wash your hands, for God’s sake. That’s disgusting.

He promptly put his phone on silent, got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth, his mother calling out for him to make sure he had his breakfast – ‘and your medication!’ – before he went out. He nodded along with her words, hoping to drown her out by brushing his teeth with more fervour – it helped that his toothbrush was electric – more or less forgetting about the random messages from a stranger.

***

By the time Eddie had dragged himself to school after making sure his bike was securely locked, he was already tired. Not only had he been yelled at by an elderly passer-by, but he had also almost crashed into a toddler who had broken away from her mother and had headed straight for the road.

It was with great frustration that he slammed his World History textbook onto the table. _Don’t get me wrong_ , he mused to himself. _I love history, but today is just_ not _my day, it would seem._ He groaned even further when he realised that for once in his life, he had forgotten the homework that was due for this particular day. _Wonderful_.

“Good morning. Gosh, aren’t we scowling away today, eh?” Eddie turned to the voice, discovering it to be the curly-haired Jewish student, Stanley Uris. The latter was making his way around the desks to the window seats, where he tended to reside during his classes, watching the birds flying about outside.

“’Morning,” Eddie grumbled back, focusing his rage and intent on opening the textbook and randomly stabbing the page numbers. God forbid he make a fool of himself in front of the top student.

He could not begin to describe the relief that was instantaneous with the arrival of his dear friend Bill. At five foot ten, he was not the tallest in the grade by far, but his lanky arms and gangly legs did unfortunately cause him to trip rather often, which is how the teenager found himself falling into Eddie.

“Ah,” Bill said simply. “Suh-sorry Eddie. M-my laces c-came undone I th-think,” he nodded at Stanley, who murmured ‘Denbrough’ and inclined his head. Eddie raised his eyebrows. _‘Stuttering’ Bill Denbrough, conversing with class genius, Stanley Uris? Surprising._

Nevertheless, Eddie shook himself out of his stupor and smiled easily as his friend settled beside him. “Having a tough morning already?”

“ _G-God_ yes.”

“Can’t be as bad as mine. I was yelled at by an old grandpa of a guy, almost ran over a toddler, and to top it off, I forgot the homework. And you’ve… What, tripped over your laces?” Eddie let out with a sigh. Bill glanced down, coming to his senses and quickly leaning to tie the troublesome lace.

“Anything else h-happen in your hellish m-m-morning, then?” he snickered as he looked back up at his dark-haired friend.

With an even more dramatic sigh, Eddie stretched out over his desk and groaned. “Got a text from some random stranger,” he muttered. “’pparently someone’s cat squashed all of his pansies? I don’t even know,” he sat up suddenly. “And his hands were _disgusting_ – they were _so_ grimy, I mean – what was that person even doing? _And_ another thing –” Eddie shuddered. “– his username was ‘trash-mouth’. Of all things. Why ‘trash-mouth’? Goodness gracious me.”

Bill snickered at Eddie’s shuddering.

“Don’t laugh at me, you bastard.”

“Oh c-come on, Eddie; l-live a little –” he shut his mouth as the bell rang and a teacher walked in promptly, signalling the beginning of the class. The last few tardy students trickled in, muttering apologies and excuses that the teacher did not even bother acknowledging, simply urging them to ‘Hurry up to their seats, this instant!’

The last student to turn up was Ben Hanscom, a soft-spoken, intelligent teenager who had recently started hanging out with the renowned ‘slut’, Beverly Marsh. He waved at Bill, taking his seat at the very back. Eddie briefly wondered what on Earth had compelled him to befriend the redhead, but he thought no more of it as the teacher started belting out instructions.

After being told to turn to a certain page in the textbook and put their essays on the desk for marking, Bill leaned to Eddie again, whispering, “Hey – w-what if that s-stranger t-texts you ag-ain? W-wouldn’t th-that be a laugh?”

“If his fingers are the same griminess as they were before I am certainly _not_ indulging in exchanging ridiculous messages with that fool,” Eddie curtly responded, readying himself for a detention for having forgotten his homework.

Surely enough, the teacher was less than pleased, and Eddie scorned the fact that Bill revelled in ‘goody-two-shoes’ Edward forgetting his work for once in his life.

***

When lunchtime rolled around, Eddie was even more annoyed.

“I cannot believe it. I seriously _cannot_ believe it. First the grandpa, then the toddler, then the homework, and now this?” he zipped his bag shut with a growl. “I knew I should have put it into my bag in the _evening_ , not just as I am about to leave. God damn it.”

Bill sent a sidelong glance at his mate. “Is your m-mother trying to give you pl-placebos again?” Eddie nodded.

“And it’s not just that, either. She _insists_ that I must take at least five different types of vegetables – but ‘Oh, no, not celery, you might be allergic to that, like your father was!’ Honestly I think I should _know_ if I am allergic to celery, after having eaten it so many times in your spaghetti Bolognese and whatnot.”

“T-tough times?”

“Tough times indeed. I sometimes cannot _stand_ that woman.”

“P-perhaps she, um, needs to c-come to the realisation th-that you’re not a child anymore?” Bill said, and then frowned. “I m-mean – one that needs to be c-constantly doted over. You’re not your, not you f-f-father, either.”

Eddie nodded. “Exactly. I am capable of making my own decisions. If I choose to get a communicable disease, then that is my fault, nothing to be done about it. Although I would rather, you know, avoid getting any type of disease.”

“Of c-course,” Bill acknowledged, turning in his seat to peer at a gathering of students at the other end of the hall. Eddie followed his gaze. Amongst the gaggle of girls, Stanley’s head was poking out. He seemed to be easily communicating with the lot, gesturing and smiling wide.

“So how come you and Stanley Uris are such mates now?” Eddie questioned with an eyebrow raised.

Bill shifted his gaze back to Eddie. “We g-got paired for the B-b-biology project – I th-think you weren’t in that d-day. Was that w-when you had –”

“A cough, I had a cough.”

“S-s-seriously?” Eddie nodded in response to Bill’s exclamation. “G-gee. Your mother really is… S-something.”

The pair sighed, Eddie chewing his lips and Bill checking the time. “What did we even do during that lesson?”

Bill made a vague gesture at a plant situated near their table. “We have to s-select th-th-three to five different p-plant species and c-collect some form of DNA s-so we can analyse the s-st-structure using the agar j-jelly,” Eddie made a face. “Yes, yes, I kn-know, you think it’s unhy-hy-hygienic. Anyway – it b-boils down to the s-study of adaptations and-d the different c-cell shapes, and the whole… S-surface area to volume ratio thing. G-get it?” A nod.

“Got it,” Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Bill?” he received a questioning hum in response. “Is your stutter getting better?”

After swallowing his food, Bill responded. “I-I g-guess? I’m s-still going to the v-voice therapist. It h-helps. It’s j-j-just taking a w-while, I th-think.”

“Cool. I long for the day when you can say ‘hypochondriac’ without stuttering through every consonant,” the pair giggled merrily.

***

As soon as Eddie walked into his house, he heard the vibration of his phone. Automatically, he took it out of his pocket, nudging his trainers off and trudging up the stairs as he entered the pin – a simple four-one-four-nine. It was probably Bill – or at least Eddie hoped it was. He could not think of handling a text from his mother at this moment in time.

However as soon as he realised exactly _what_ notification it was, he truly wished he had not even looked at his phone.

_12:01 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **um, hellooOoo? Ur hands were dirty too

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **ST bud I know ur just messin with me but uncool dude

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **that hurt my feelings

Eddie cringed.

_3:59 P.M._

           **mEDDIEcation:  
          **You don’t seem like you *have* any.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **thats the spirit! see I knew you were gonna say that

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          **I’m serious though. I’m not ST. I don’t even know who that is.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          **Or who you are, for that matter. Please just leave me alone.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **nah mate you have got to be pulling my leg

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          **u got a new phone yesterday? remember dipshit?

Eddie saw red.

_4:02 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
** I do not appreciate being called ‘dipshit’. Now please take yourself and your foul language elsewhere, before I block your number completely.

He knew he was being hypocritical – he had said far worse than ‘dipshit’ – but in all honesty this person was really bugging him.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **wait so ur really not ST?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Really.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **shiiiit that explains a lot

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **sorry man

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **or dudette

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **or whatever yknow

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Cool. So, you can stop texting me now.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **hell nah this is great

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **it could be destineeeee

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Fuck off. Destiny isn’t real. Nor is fate.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **fite me

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **oi! and you bash on about ME being rude

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **smh

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **I’m not interested in fighting idiots on whether fate and destiny are real

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **oh! how could you! my heart!

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Please just go away. I don’t have time for this.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **but I do

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Well I don’t. I already got detention for not handing in my essay today, and now I have to do it again *all* because your text this morning fucking distracted me from my priorities!

Eddie sat down on his bed with a _thump_ , thumbing his History textbook to the correct page and grabbing a highlighter. This person was absolutely intolerable.

He promised himself that he would ignore the vibrations of his phone, but ended up giving in at the last minute anyway.

_4:09 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **woooahh easy there tiger

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **I know people cant resis my cahrms but damn

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **charms. ffs

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~** **trashmouth1019):  
           **oioioi dont ignore me

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **What language *are* you speaking in?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **And, I’m sorry? What charms? You’re not charismatic in the slightest.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **I beg to differ

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** at least give me a chance in bed first ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Ew, god, no!

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **After the state of your fingers this morning, even more so – no!

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **What the actual fuck

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **thats what she said

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **That doesn’t even make sense!

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Also what if I was, I don’t know – a fifty-year-old pervert. Don’t you think before you say things?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **are you a 50 year old perv?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
** No.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **perfect then ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **I’m a hundred-year-old pervert.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **kudos to you dude, that is the best response youve given me so far

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **how old are you then?

Eddie groaned.

_4:12 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
           **I don’t reveal my age to insufferable arseholes like you.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **ouch

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **touché mi amigo

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **amiga?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** are u at least a boy or a girl, or what

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **I’m a dude.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **perrrrrfectttt

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Now you sound like a pervert.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **gotta get me some good yonh dick amiright

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **THIS FUCKING PHONE

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Excuse me?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **young, not yonh

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **ur excused, but onyl if you let me fuck your mother

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **son of a motherfucker *only

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **you know what I cba

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **uve gotta deal with my typos now

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Can’t you type like a normal person?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **what, all bs grammar nazi like you? ill pass

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **And also, no, I will *not* let you fuck my mother.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **That’s disgusting – you’re fucking disgusting.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **so ive been told ;)

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **and yet ur still talking to me

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Not for long.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **awwww cmon babe :(

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **give me a chance

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **I can show you the worrrrrlllldd

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Seriously? Disney?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** ya. ofc

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **You know what, no, no – I can’t deal with this.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **I’m deleting your number and you better delete mine.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Go find your precious ST and Delilah or whoever you’re intending on bothering.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **its Delorah

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **but damn bud I thought we were soulmates

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **how could you let me down like that </3

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Go away, leave me alone, piss off.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **It’s 4:20 and I haven’t even done an ounce of homework since I got back.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **That is twenty minutes wasted. *Wasted*!

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **lol dab to the weed hour my friend

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **just dab it out

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **schls for losers r u a nerd

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Weed hour? Pardon me?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **weed? in MY christian household? its more likely than you think

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **Did you just quote that fucking meme.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **ah perfect, so ur not a dinosaur after all

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **and yet your lack of appreciation for weed and dabbing is mighty concerning

 **mEDDIEcation:  
           **I’m turning off my phone.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **dont leave me

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **if aught but death part thee and me

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **u were my CINNAMON APPLE

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **marry me rebecca

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
           **REBECCAAAAAA

Eddie turned off his phone and threw it across his room, ensuring that it safely landed on the carpet before resuming his studies. What the fuck had he gotten himself into?


	2. splitting headaches and random conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, tell me if there's mistakes n whatnot. was going to post the original, but it was starting to get too long so I cut it a little but it's still longer than the first chapter.  
> it's mainly texting. sorry not sorry. :,)  
> also it's 1am-ish and I have coursework due in less than seven hours so I have not bothered to check for issues with the chapter aight,, just yell at me when i am more awake
> 
> funnily enough i wrote this in the midst of a migraine, two days ago. instead of doing coursework. fabulous.
> 
> do you know how cringey it is to input typos??? i am eddie in this sense - I have 100% accurate grammar and spelling. unless I am tired. like right now. ehhhck
> 
> oh and if anyone wants to explain the Maine education system to me that'd be great,, bc I am a british kid who is having a hard time comprehending the usa's system lol

He had such a splitting headache. Eddie had been doing homework for hours and he had a splitting headache.

Admittedly, it was his own fault, he figured. After having dutifully turned off his phone in order to look at his History course in more detail, he had quickly become engrossed, noting down facts and statistics that he was sure to turn into flashcards later on.

At some point during his revision, Sonia Kaspbrak returned home from a shopping trip, disturbing the peaceful atmosphere that Eddie had managed to surround himself in and – frankly – scaring him silly. The distraction of his mother’s demands – “Help me put the washing out! And get those groceries, Eddie-bear!” – accompanied with his own restlessness amounted to the fact that he had completely forgotten to _finish_ his studies, and once more found himself with a blank mind and an even more blank piece of paper.

“Oh, bloody hell,” he said, putting his face into his hands. Dinner had been hours ago, and at eleven o’clock he really could not stand even the thought of writing an essay on the Fall of Rome due to the Decomposition of the Roman Order in the years 375 to 410 CE. He simply could not. If he had to write one more word describing the impact and significance of the ‘Visigothic disarmament’, or the ‘antagonism amongst Roman ranks’ in relation to Rome’s Fall, Eddie was pretty sure he would throw up. “But I can’t keep putting this off…” he muttered aloud.

He had narrowly avoided a detention by promising to deliver not one, but two essays for the lesson the day after. Unfortunately, he was still screwed, especially as he was currently incapable of focusing.

He groaned and slunk away from his desk, reaching for his phone, which had stayed in exactly the same position since precisely seven and a half hours ago. In that moment, he was not really thinking about ‘trashmouth1019’ at all, which is why when the screen finally loaded, he was very taken aback by the slight spam he had received.

“Fuck it,” he clicked on the notification panel.

_4:27 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** did u really switch off ur phone

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** bruh,, im heartbroken over here

Eddie scoffed. ‘Heartbroken’ his ass.

_5:02 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** still waiting

_5:59 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** nothing?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** ur even worse than ST at least he caves after awhile

_7:00 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** just checkin in with my fave

_8:09 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** SRSLY!?

_9:30 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** u r such an ass I expected better from u

The messages ended there, and Eddie was partially relieved and partially annoyed. Why could this person not get a hint? _Geez,_ he made disapproving noise and sat back. A vibration alerted him of Bill’s text, which he more than happily clicked.

_11:08 P.M._

**billdenbrough:  
          ** hey eddie are you free tomorrow?

 **billdenbrough:  
          ** I was thinking of going to the lib

Eddie grinned and tapped out a response.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Sure, I’m game.

 **billdenbrough:  
          ** sweet, so, after school then>

 **billdenbrough:  
          ** *?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Sounds great.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Super sorry, I have to get cracking with this essay. Talk to you later?

 **billdenbrough:  
          ** ok :^) ttyl, good luck

A sigh escaped Eddie’s lips as he briefly thought about attempting to resume his already-sabotaged ‘progress’. No way was he going to bed on time today. As if on cue, his phone vibrated once more. With a yawn, Eddie peered at the new notification.

_11:10 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I can see that you read my messages

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** stop ignoring me :<

‘Trash-mouth’ was at it _again_? Eddie could not believe his eyes.

_11:11 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** For God’s sake what do you want?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** company, mostly.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** also it’s 11:11, make a wish

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Wow, correct punctuation use for once?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I wish this arse of a person would leave me alone for once.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** haha very funny

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’ll have you know that I become more eloquent in the later hours

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Thrilling.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** so what are you doing up so late?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** It’s not even that late. And why should I tell you?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I aim to sleep by 11, but never quite make it.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** probably because I am too hyperactive

Eddie chewed his cheek. ‘Trash-mouth’ really did sound a little… Off. Even his responses were slower than usual, not that Eddie had had much experience.

_11:14 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Figures.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** you don’t have to tell me why you’re up

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** just expressing an interest in the mysterious stranger

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** ;)

And he had ruined any empathy Eddie may have felt for him. There was the ‘usual’ trait ‘trash-mouth’ tended to show.

_11:19 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Do you always flirt with anything on two legs?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** pretty much, yeah

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** but only if it’s hot ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** People in real life must hate you.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** haha

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** are you implying ST and Delorah don’t love me?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** ouch babe, how cruel

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Don’t call me ‘babe’.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** babe

 **mEDDIEcation:  
** To answer your question, I’m trying to finish an essay.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Or rather, start it.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** what subject?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** History. Roman Studies.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** oh god. what compelled you to choose that?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** It was either that or the Early Middle Ages.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** oh, fuck thattt

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I am studying the French revolution

Eddie jolted. _Studying?_ _Is he a student, too?_

_11:22 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Anything interesting?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** well yeah

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** the whole notion of throwing over the monarchy is lit

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** who needs a king anyway

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** So, you’re a student?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’m a junior, yeah

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Oh. Me too.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** well obviously

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** you’re studying the other side of the course

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** so, no shit Sherlock

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Since when did you become such a smartass?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** since your mum sucked me off

Eddie grimaced and felt bile come up at the back of his throat. Here he thought that he could actually tolerate this dude, but no – again, he had to go and ruin it.

_11:26 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Do you always have to ruin everything? That’s disgusting.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Is it your defence mechanism or something?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I don’t know

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** never thought abuot it that way

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** about

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** and yeah, I tend to be the bearer of shitty phrases

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Hence the username?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** bang on, babe ;)

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):** **  
** what do I come up as on your phone?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Ugh… Trashmouth1019? I haven’t saved your number, if that’s what you’re asking.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** oh, haha

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** you come up as mEDDIEcation

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):** **  
** I gather your name is Eddie?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** How do you know that

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** your settings are probably set to ‘everyone can see’, babe

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** a lack of punctuation on your part. did I render you speechless? ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Fuck off.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Well, now it’s no longer on that setting.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** ahaha I’m just gonna save you as Eduardo on my phone

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** What? Why?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** And my name’s not Eduardo.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** it is now, Eduardo-bambardo

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** you’re no longer just some random number in my log ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Stop saying that.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** My name is Edward! Not Eduardo!

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** now if I could just have a pretty face to go with a pretty name…

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I am not sending you a photo of me. No way.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** aw. worth a shot anyway

There was a brief lull in conversation as Eddie reflected, waiting for the ‘typing’ letters of the stranger to be replaced by a message.

_11:38 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** are you the type of person

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Am I the type of person…?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I accidentally sent that and forgot what I was saying

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** nvm

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** memory like a sieve

With some surprise, Eddie chuckled, discarding his pen to flick through the chat quickly. Needless to say, his essay had completely been forgotten.

_11:39 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** why medication, specifically?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Pardon?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** your username

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Oh

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I don’t feel obliged to respond to that right now.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** In fact, I’m going to change it.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** Nah, keep it. Suits you.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Oh, wow, capitalising sentence starters now?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** fuck

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’m tired and wasn’t thonking

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** thinking

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Your eloquence is wavering.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** isn’t it just

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** so if you’re studying grade 11 content for History, you must be at least 16

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Why are you adamant about figuring things out about me?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** We haven’t even met each other face to face.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’m curious

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** besides, since I haven’t seen ST lately and evidently entered the wrong number, I sort of have to resort to texting you

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Why, got no other friends?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** nah they’re all asleep I’m willing to bet

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** anyway, come on. a little game of q4q

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** q4q?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** tell me you’ve played ‘question for question’

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Oh, yes.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** thank carp

Eddie frowned. _Carp? Alright_ … He shifted in his chair, opting to move to his bed, which was far more comfortable. Although it was becoming warmer now that Spring had rolled around, the March air could still be chilly on occasion. He was cuddling into the duvet when he received another notification.

_11:44 P.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’ll go first – are you 16, yes or no?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I turned 17 in September.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** no shit dude I turned 17 in december

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** we’re soulmates, I told you

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I highly doubt that.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** why are you such a jilljoy?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** killjoy oh my god

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I guess I’m just a grumpy individual.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Also I have a splitting headache.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I can tell :0

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** how come?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Essays.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** nerd.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** anyway. what’s your question?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I don’t have any questions for the likes of you.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** aw Eduardo, my boo

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’m a random number, you gotta have at least one question for me

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I am *not* your boo.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Are you this annoying in real life, too?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** of course haha

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** that’s why they call me TRASHMOUTH

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Wonderful.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** my mates love me, dude <3

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** what are your interests?

Sitting back, Eddie considered his options. He could make up some bullshit to be on the safe side and make sure that ‘trash-mouth’ did not clock him as anyone. _Unlikely,_ Eddie thought, _considering we probably live in completely different states altogether._ Then again, there was a smidgen of amusement when talking to him.

Eddie decided to take the truthful approach.

_11:52 P.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I have an affinity for reading.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** ah, thus the history, right?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Oh god no.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Don’t get me wrong, History is fun, but *God* if I have to read one more reason as to why the Roman Empire fell, I will riot.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’d love to see you rioting pfft

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I can tell you with confidence though, that the reasons for the roman empire’s failure are definitely not as long as my wang ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Do you ever stop? Jesus.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** you called?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** You’re not Jesus.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** but you can be the mary to my joseph ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Piss off.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** or not.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** so, reading – what else?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Taking long bike rides, away from everyone as far as possible.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I also like watching ‘The Strain’, when I have the chance.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** ooh, bike rides are fun. I rate that

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** You rate that?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):** **  
** Eds my dear, do you know not of slang?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** it means to like or agree with something

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Right. Don’t call me that.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’ve never watched the strain. any good?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Lots of gore – not for the squeamish or the light-hearted.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** I admit it makes me a little dizzy at times.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** aw, do we have a soft boi on our hands?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** What? No.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** oh we do ;)

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** perrrfect

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** You’re insufferable.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I know right

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** What about you? What do you enjoy doing?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** hanging out with my mates, playing with Delorah

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** the usual

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** also gardening. and sometimes I strum out a tune on my guitar

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Is Delorah the cat in that photo you sent?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** yeah, she’s the gorgeous lady

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):** **  
** my one true love

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** The gardening explains the horrendous state of your hands, then.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** How can you stand just planting things into the ground?

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** What if there’s, I don’t know, a new form of parasite living in the soil?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I don’t think about that sort of thing

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** it’s a good stress-reliever

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):** **  
** you should try it sometime

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** You will most certainly not see me anywhere near the soil, thank you very much.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** you’re fun to tease haha

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** your friends must have a field of a day mocking you

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Shut up.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** It just occurred to me – you know my name, yet I don’t know yours.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** What is your given name, trashmouth1019?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** richie

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Got it, Ricardo.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** copying my excellent techniques I see

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I must be influencing you <3 :’)

For the umpteenth time in the past day, Eddie pinched his eyebrows and groaned. He glanced at the time purely out of interest, horrified to find that it was already 12:25 A.M. He had to get up in less than seven hours, and he still had not done that final essay.

_12:26 A.M._

**mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Listen I’m really sorry, I have to finish this damn essay and then go to sleep.

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Less than eight hours of sleep is extremely unhealthy for you, and I will only get six hours of sleep today at most!

 **mEDDIEcation:  
** Did you know that if you don’t sleep enough, you have a 12% higher risk of dying?

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** that’s just bullshit that parents tell their kids

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** and even if it’s not, I’m sure you won’t die

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** I barely ever sleep and I’m still alive

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** but that’s because of my late night escapades with your ma ;)

Eddie almost blocked him there and then.

_12:28 A.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** nevertheless, good luck with that essay

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** don’t die on me. the world will be awful boring without my boo

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** You are a prat.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I’m a force to be reckoned with, dahling ;)

 **mEDDIEcation:  
          ** Good riddance.

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** love you too ;)

***

As expected, come morning, Eddie felt shattered. He had ended up staying later than intended after failing to locate a working pen, and _then_ discovering that he was missing some vital information in his notes. The Roman Empire’s failure could not be more boring than it already was.

He cursed inwardly as he turned off his alarm and rubbed his temple. At least he could go to the library with Bill today.

Bleary-eyed, he peered at the screen of his phone, tapping on the username of the slightly-less-of-a-stranger, Richie. He wasn’t surprised to see that the other had barely slept.

_1:42 A.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** I doubt u will b up but hi

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** also im back to not being bothered bout grammar n shit

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** hope u got through ur essay alright

_2:12 A.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
** aight I assume u r sleeping

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** good boi ;)

Eddie scoffed.

_2:14 A.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** idk if u heard of them, but grizzly bear are a good band

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** as are the national – listen to graceless. bangign tune

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** banging

_4:30 A.M._

**207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** sry I cant sleep n havent seen ST recently bc ive been ill so ur pretty much the only person I am talking to lol

 **207-XXX-XXXX (** **~trashmouth1019):  
          ** hope ur having nice dreams about me ;)

Eddie sighed. What did go through that stranger’s head – _Richie’s_ head? He looked at the last message, sent about an hour after the one he had read, which simply stated “goodnight”. There was a small kissing emoji next to it. He turned a dull shade of pink and wrinkled his nose.

He wonders whether Richie ever thinks before he speaks, and sends a quick ‘good morning’ back to him, promising himself to listen to the song recommendations as soon as school was over.


End file.
